What To Expect After Separation And Divorce: Tips For Parenting Solo — Hometown Station | KHTS FM 98.1 & AM 1220 — Santa Clarita Radio


Separation or divorce are never easy. It can be a really tough time for you and your children. You will have to deal with all the challenges separation or divorce brings, and make some important decisions about how you are going to approach parenting. The good news is, research suggests most children will adjust with minimal long-term problems.

Planning for the future is important because you want your child to have stability, even after divorce or separation. Your family unit may no longer be together, but it’s still possible that your kids will spend time with other family members on a regular basis so they don’t feel neglected.

This blog post discusses tips on what to expect after separation or divorce, as well as how you can help your child through this difficult transition in their life. The goal is to reduce stress as a family during these challenging times.

How to break the news to your kids

Breaking the news to your kids about your failed marriage is a difficult task for any parent. Kids can be quite perceptive and depending on the nature of their home life, they’ve possibly picked up that something is wrong. If home life has been quite stressful, it might be wise to consider the location in which you break the news.

Create a calm and peaceful space to raise the subject, if your kids enjoy camping you could setup a backyard campout where they will have time to digest what is happening away from the distractions and stress that may be inside the family home. You could also take them to their favorite park or local playground. Ideally the location you break the news will be calm and peaceful without too many other people around.

While divorce or separation may not be something they were expecting, it’s important that you break the news in a healthy way and give them a suitable amount of information based on their age and maturity. This will help them process everything with as much understanding as possible.

In order to break the news to your children, the best way to go about it is by talking with them in a calm and clear manner. This will allow you to gauge their emotions and answer any questions they may have so that they are better prepared for what it all might mean.

Before going into detail with your child about why it happened or breaking down in front of them, think carefully about how you will deliver the news. Do not attempt this conversation when you’re in a highly emotional state.

Do not just tell your child divorce is happening and then walk away. Be available and supportive as best you can and try not to say anything negative about your ex, so your child doesn’t feel the need to become defensive. This type of reaction can be very damaging to their security and self-esteem because they may feel abandoned or betrayed. It could even make them think there was something wrong with them or their family relationship.

How to handle your kid’s reaction

We all process and deal with information in different ways. If your child is having a hard time understanding the news, try different approaches to find one that works best for them. There’s no right or wrong way of doing things, but there are some helpful tips on how to handle their reactions.

Remain calm and collected in the face of emotional outbursts. This will let them know that you’re safe to come to and also show them what they should do if they feel overwhelmed with their emotions.

Let your kids know that separation and divorce is a difficult thing for both parents, but it does not mean the end of their world or relationship. It may be hard now, but in time things will get better.

Encourage them to be honest about how they feel. If they’re angry, tell them it’s okay to be mad and that you’ll still love them no matter what.

Explain divorce in a way your kids can understand so there are less unanswered questions or over-analyzing from their part. Let them know it is common nowadays and that many people have been through this, using examples where appropriate.

How to adjust to new living arrangements

Separation and divorce are a huge change in a child’s life and potentially living in two different homes presents new challenges. Every family has different circumstances and requirements. For some, one parent will have sole custody. Others with have joint custody where you maintain physical custody and you share legal custody.

Working out the details of how you’ll live apart can be difficult, but it’s important to make sure you’re on the same page with your kids. Keep in mind they need to feel secure and reassured that you still love them no matter what – even if you live separately from one another now.

Some children may have difficulty adjusting if they don’t live in the same house as you do after you’ve separated or divorced. The process is particularly difficult for kids who need to move as a consequence of the broken marriage.

Unfortunately, the reality is sometimes it’s unsafe for divorcees or children to remain in contact with your ex or even to live in the same city. Many choose to move interstate to escape the risks however this also means uprooting your children from everything they knew. Moving as a single parent is never easy however, you need to consider you and your children’s safety over everything else. It’s important to make sure you’re on the same page with your kids if at all possible however it’s not always achievable.

It will get better in time

Parenting is difficult at the best of times. Separation and divorce are some of the most stressful times many of us will ever experience. It’s difficult parenting under this pressure. You need to take care of yourself and your children knowing that things will get better eventually.

Your parenting style may be vastly different to that of your ex-partner however you’ll learn to make it work as best you can. If you spend your time on the things you can control, rather than the things you have no control of, you’ll be in a better mindset to take on this huge challenge. Little things like making your home more cozy after moving are a great way to start.

Even if you can’t see it right now, it will get better for you and your children. Know that you’re not alone in this. Support is always available and you are never too old to ask for help or advice. You have the best interests of your kids at heart, and you need to make sure you focus on that as much as possible to see you through these difficult times.

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