The toxic relationships They can also occur in the family nucleus and in a unconscious. For a father, a son is a sacred treasure and, as such, he wishes take care of it and protect it. But what about the overprotective parents? Are they good or bad for your children?
It is very common to hear or see how some parents try solve their children’s problems because they are small, with the aim of avoiding discomfort, risky situations or possible suffering and errors. But Do they really help shape your personality?
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Damien Supply (MN 44.122), a graduate in psychology and a specialist in child and adolescent health promotion, explained that the problem of overprotective is that the child’s interpretation of the world and the context are given by the adult and, in this way, project fears and anxieties that become a problem when boys internalize them and act on them.
“In each development phase, It is very important that he can develop interaction with the environment to encourage the autonomy and the independencethe differentiation that makes the personality”, he specified.
As he added, children are very aware of the gaze and the parental approvalsince they are the ones who also regulate and allow interaction with the outside world.
“Sometimes when faced with difficult family or emotionally complex situations, it is the children who absorb the fearsthe faintness and the insecurities of the largest, which leads to negative consequences such as a extreme addiction, Self-esteem issues That is Low frustration tolerance“, he warned.
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For this reason, for him, it is extremely important that adults can register these situations and approach them -this can be by talking about them with peers, in the couple or even with professionals- so that they do not end up being Something negative between the child and the world around him.
Protecting or overprotecting children?
Laura Podium (MN 66.722), a graduate in Art and Psychology, explains the difference between treating/protecting and overprotecting: “There is a big difference between protect and overprotect. The first involves being mindful as an adult responsible for real risks to which a child may be exposed, depending on their level of development (whether a baby, an infant, a child or an adolescent). In these steps, you have to protect him physically and emotionally“, he specified.
However, the overprotective appears in a situation where the child is already able to understand Yes actuate on the surrounding context, and the adult is responsible for resolving situations that could be perfectly resolved by the child. “There is a implicit message in all this: if I solve all the problems of a child, what I tell him is that he does not have tools do it alone,” he said.
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The current of positive parenting explains precisely that, in the education of a child, the important thing is to offer him structure and warmthand set short, medium and long-term goals. “The own growth scans hint that they will happen errors it must be accompanied by the adult, but not resolved by him,” he explained.
An example is parents who avoid their children all the time. school disputes, that prevent them from having contact with other people or that they are extremely selective personal links of their children. “In these cases, what they’re actually doing is bring learning tools for good development emotional What behavioral“, he warned.
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For her, the overprotective person usually also covers the consequences of an error that their children may have, so that a frustration intolerance: whatever the child wants, he soon gets.
More importantly, he added, “it prevents the child from understand and learn actions have consequences. By overprotecting them, the compensatory behaviors of the overprotected child disappear, such as learning to ask for forgiveness, for example”.
In this sense, he underlined: “It is very important to teach a child to develop a independent thinking, although it is critical for the adult. A father or a mother must know and be able support this growth and make their children understand that they have the tools be able to resolve relational conflicts, mistakes made, etc.
“The overprotective it’s a parenting role model in which they will be raised insecure boys and girls by themselves, with low self-esteemthe bad thought that anything from outside will be better than what they can produce, and with a great dependence on others: this addiction will be transferred to other people/characters in adulthood,” he explained.
Finally, the specialist clarified that overprotective parents are absolutely well intentioned and that in general they have a anxious, fearful, and insecure personality. “These fears are transferred to children, who eventually incorporate them and suffer into adulthood,” he concluded.